Noise

There’s something very silent and empty about cyberspace today.

I’ve spent all day writing down facts. Things I’m meant to learn for my course, with music playing in the background to avoid the quiet creeping in.

And yet, I’m not really processing any of it.

The music is playing, but I can’t really hear it. The playlist just shuffles on, fusing into meaningless background noise.

My fingers are moving, typing, tapping the keyboard, turning pages in my notes.

I wrap myself in the shroud of voiceless silence.

I am on the Internet. Knowledge, and databases, and information, and even entertainment are just one click away. Yet it’s not enough. I don’t want the noise.

I don’t want the unlimited access to everything and anything but you. Having said that, I don’t want 24 hour access to you because, well, that’s just creepy.

I just.. I’m foolish enough to be excited about getting text messages because one might be from you.

Last week, the worst thing I felt was not being able to talk to people due to lack of a phone.

Now that I have one, I spend half the day staring at it, hoping I’ve given you sufficient reason to respond to my texts. Yes, I’m a wordsmith of sorts, but I’ve realised the reason I keep struggling to write, is because I don’t really do much else during my day.

I don’t want to have an excuse to message you. You are my excuse. You are the reason I can’t focus; you’re not the only reason I’m alive (let’s be realistic… but then, when did realism ever come into it?).

Anyhow, at some point, it is very likely I will descend into a lovesick craze and break out the romantic poetry by Pablo Neruda, or even claim the universe conspires against me on days I can’t talk to you.

Look, all I know is… you fascinate me, in a way someone hasn’t in a while. And I don’t want to blow it.

Call me a dreamer, call me obsessive, naive, whatever. To be honest, I just want to be able to talk to you. It won’t matter, because you’ll be on the other end of the line.

Although I am here writing on my blog at 2.30 a.m., I know full well the noise and buzz of the almighty Internet can’t give me that.

I just want to hear your voice.

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