Well, that was impressive. I’ve pushed the button. Restarted, picked up from where I left off, as if nothing had ever happened.
Today’s morning shower reminded me of how I’ve let myself go. I suppose I’m still reasonably slim for a guy, but for me, I feel like a balloon. And today I snapped. Or well… popped.
No more, I decided.
No more anxiety about my flabby abs. No more waiting around for the opportune moment to pick up a workout again.
Admittedly, it was my hair that started it all. This probably sounds ridiculous and quite vain, but hey, this is my blog, and I can celebrate. I was trying to figure out a new hairstyle for myself, and decided to try it, then realised it ought to be wet for me to try it. Before the shower, I stared at myself, at all the parts of me I thought didn’t matter.
If it was the inside that mattered, why did looking at the flabby outside feel so lousy?
It didn’t take long to figure it out. I knew what I had to do; it was within my power to change the way I live, in order to be healthier, fitter, and everything that comes with exercise.
Eventually, I discovered my hair is too short for the style I required, but once dressed, I sat at my computer to hunt through various fitness workouts and lifestyles. After all, all my effort would be impeded if I didn’t change some other things along the way too – such as my diet, and my sleeping habits. I am aware that the latter is quite screwed up, but can probably be fixed after I start some exercise.
While perusing various workouts in the celebrity fitness section of Men’s Health, I discovered Taylor Kitsch mentioned that writing down how you feel as well as your training programme could help you stay motivated. I don’t think I’ve ever blogged about my health before – at least, not about my physical health. Looking back on my blog posts, most of them are about anger, frustration, and feelings of inadequacy. Maybe if I try to improve my health and general well being, I will be able to get other things done more efficiently. For example, I have a mental pile of things I wish to write about, but don’t seem to get round to it because I feel rather uninspired and unmotivated. Maybe this is just what I need?
Anyhow, at the end of this flick through men’s fitness programmes, I’ve realised I don’t really like the gym – partly because my chosen form of exercise for years has been cycling or playing tennis or some other thing that required me being outdoors. Either way, I have found various programmes that will allow me to build up to going to the gym – hopefully for as little time as possible. I don’t mind working out – I daresay the endorphins make me thoroughly enjoy it – but I do have issues with spending too much time at the gym. At some point in the past, when I was in really good shape, I remember thinking that two hours at the gym is a very long time. It isn’t if you’re doing things there and getting a proper workout, but it can feel like a waste when you need those two hours to write an essay, or something.
I don’t know where this is going, but I suppose I’m trying to mark out the precise moment it happened, so that I don’t forget. So that I stay true to myself, and fuel my motivation accordingly.
In that case…
HEAR YE, HEAR YE, I’M MAKING A CHANGE IN MY LIFE!