Argh

It takes a lot of energy and practice to be cynical and annoyed all the time.

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Motivation: absent

Well, here I am again. Motivation absent, plans absent, shame absent, although guilt sneaks in quite easily. Guilt at not having a “proper” job, at not being able to stand on my own two feet yet, even if it took about a quarter of a century to get this far. It took me 3 and a half years of uni to realise i love writing so much i couldn’t focus on anything else.

Problem is, I stopped writing the stuff that kept me flitting about with excitement. As a very wise friend of mine pointed out, if i stifle it, i just won’t be able to do it anymore. I guess it’s quite possible i just don’t have it anymore, but it could also just be a matter of reigniting it… somehow.

Maybe I just don’t WANT to write anymore. But what else do I have in my corner in terms of creativity? I have tried various things but writing seems to be the one thing that stuck.

Or you know, maybe i should just stop whining and get the hell on with it.