It takes a lot of energy and practice to be cynical and annoyed all the time.
Laugh it up, shit-face. Trot along to your six figure paycheck while I ponder. I don’t need your arrogant face in my way.
(Yeah, I get angry, alright?!)
Well, here I am again. Motivation absent, plans absent, shame absent, although guilt sneaks in quite easily. Guilt at not having a “proper” job, at not being able to stand on my own two feet yet, even if it took about a quarter of a century to get this far. It took me 3 and a half years of uni to realise i love writing so much i couldn’t focus on anything else.
Problem is, I stopped writing the stuff that kept me flitting about with excitement. As a very wise friend of mine pointed out, if i stifle it, i just won’t be able to do it anymore. I guess it’s quite possible i just don’t have it anymore, but it could also just be a matter of reigniting it… somehow.
Maybe I just don’t WANT to write anymore. But what else do I have in my corner in terms of creativity? I have tried various things but writing seems to be the one thing that stuck.
Or you know, maybe i should just stop whining and get the hell on with it.