Following in the footsteps of the theatre tradition I am so enamoured with, I shall tackle this one head on… (perhaps too literally for your liking?)
Yeah, you. The one at the back.
Somebody – anybody – please wallop them over the head.
(Who ever said you need to be nice to your readers?)
Alright, get up.
Humour me. Stand up!
Now sit down.
Stand up. Yes, again. Will it help if I’m polite? Stand up. Please.
Do you always do what you’re told? Are your dreams like doctors’ prescriptions? No, I didn’t think so… I hope not, that is, otherwise you’d be medicating – and I don’t wish that on anybody, particularly because prescriptions are notoriously illegible.
Anyway, now that I have your attention, I suppose this isn’t what the assignment was about at all. It was about focusing posts to garner an audience. All I can say is I like variety.