Wow, my erotic poem and the associated commentary got me 79%. Wow. Did not expect that at all!
For those unfamiliar with the relevant mythology, here’s the Wikipedia article on it, although I’d like to think the poem can be read without the background knowledge…
To Hero and Leander – Death’s Apology
I remember you and your love secret,
secret even from the gods.
I remember your smooth body bathed in fragrant oils, and his hair wet
with brine and ornaments of seaweed,
eyes glazed with the fever of love.
It was selfish, I know,
to wrap you in my shroud – two souls knotted like eels
to warm my eternal frost awhile.
Such is my fate
to not to be able to touch what I love
and to wreck with a single caress
all your creation.
Each night I watched
as you lit your lamp, for your dolphin love to cross
the sea, straight into your warm, and open arms.
Each night I watched
as from the spring of your lips
you gave him drink, while you fed tender whispers
to your hungry ears.
I could not bear to keep you apart,
so I took you both, my doves,
rather than break your lettuce hearts.
I plunged him into the depths of the waves,
and dragged you over a cliff,
on jagged rocks your arms spread,
wings that didn’t work.
the buds of summer
have withered too soon.
Gods cruel and silent,
what have I done?
by the trunk we marked
in our youth
where their woods end
always come in twos
flutter away into darkness
with moonlit eyes
and sharp ears
my nose seeks your scent
the smell of earthworms and roots
I juggle a jade horizon
through the dewy dawn
by the stump that remains
where their woods begin
two lines – that’s all I need –
to weave me into a dance
fling me free as a feather
into jazz, metal, blues
and then pop – it’s a soft landing.
two lines alone
to pour confessions into thirsty ears
in a communion of beats, notes, pauses
all in time.
two lines – no more – are all it takes
to ‘store in a cool, dry place’
a dose of shimmering
elixir of life mass-produced
– what good is your erosive entropy
now you’re trapped in a transparent tower?
two lines – no less – are enough
to get lost
two lines exactly
to leave me exposed
and two more still
to bring me home.
So…. after a very long silence, I’m back! Kinda. I am just resurfacing after a few weeks of writing poetry for university. Just handed in the longest poem I’ve ever written (it’s about 5 pages long – and that’s only partly due to double-spacing) for an assignment. Well, technically, I handed it in at 5 a.m.this morning, but shhhhhhh…
Anyway, I thought I’d do some poetry sharing for today – the next few posts include poems that have been written for the purposes of nailing down some techniques (voice, imagery, that sort of thing). Of course, being the intelligent wolf that I am, I did all the exercises, and then chucked all the technical knowledge out the window because I got carried away by the jazz right before my final hand-in. It’s a very strange poem – quite unlike anything I’ve written in English – and the more I read it, the more I think it should be hidden in a drawer and never let out again.
Alright, maybe I’ll let it out once.