[response to a prompt on tumblr; the prompt was ‘lose myself in you’]
someone once told me – possibly my swim teacher –
that it’s less likely you’ll drown,
if you know how to swim.
I don’t know about the death rate,
but I can confirm, it’s such a lie;
as a child, I learnt them all: freestyle, backstroke,
breaststroke, and butterfly,
yet given the chance – just a single glance –
I drown in you.
[this one just happened… even I’m not sure what it’s about, so don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense]
if I did not choose you
and you did not choose me
any more than either of us choose to bleed,
then why does it hurt when we choose not to see
that we’re both colouring each other shades of raw
in the half-light of dawn,
plummeting naked into the waves
of each other’s eyes?
and back out of sentient rooms
as though looking for
when, in fact, I’m trying to
lose the feeling
of being forgotten.
Sometimes I just sit here,
waiting to be noticed by you
‘s ok, I guess
(no one ever sent an urgent email)
Sometimes I’m spam
to be discarded, bypassed,
without a second glance;
not even a second chance.
yet it hurts the most when
you treat me as if I carry a
lethal virus – the system-crippling kind –
and avoid me completely,
when all I really need
is high priority
I met a spider today.
she refused to tell me her name
– a name is most sacred to a spider –
but, scuttling across my desktop,
barely bigger than a freckle,
gazed at me with all eight eyes
and imparted a wisp of
‘the universe can be huge,
(it is expanding after all)
but you and only you
can make you feel so